Stupid Funny Quotes

Stupid Funny Quotes Biography
Really stupid, very funny! A list of some of the best senseless quotations. These phrases might not make much sense, and they may be totally dumb, but they're still extremely amusing. This proves that even the most naive person can say something really funny. -

Here is another good section-the funny/stupid section. This will pretty much be the section that gets everything that doesn't fit into any other section. Oh you go.

"Ignorance is not bliss. Bliss is ignorance of one's ignorance." -Insert Quip Here

"We squirrels laugh at you in secret, you know." -Foamy from 'Neurotically Yours'

"Someone should stab you in the eye with a really hot french fry." –Foamy from 'Neurotically Yours'

"Extra medication for all!" -Pillz-E from 'Neurotically Yours'

"…looks like someone done threw a sharpie at your eyeball!" -The Hatta' from 'Neurotically Yours'

"MATCHES!!!! Fire…on a stick…." -Foamy from 'Neurotically Yours'

"What's this about squirrels and acid? Let me tell you, dissolving a squirrel is a lot more work that you'd think." -'Pintsize', from Questionable Content (

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

"The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage." -J. Jacques, 'Questionable Content' (

"Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer." -J. Jacques, 'Questionable Content' (
"Insanity: A perfect rational adjustment to an insane world." -R. D. Lang

"It's easy to write one's memoirs when one has a terrible memory." -Arthur Schnitzler

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." -Frank Lloyd Wright

"I don't use a typewriter, I write longhand, with a pencil. Essentially I'm a horizontal writer. I think better when I'm lying down." -Truman Capote

"Cheaters aren't cheaters, they are just high risk players." -Tony DiStefano

"I don't cheat, I play by my own rules." -Tony DiStefano

"Yesterday mail! For when you need it there before you send it." -Foamy, 'Neurotically Yours'

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." -Random email

"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking." -Random email

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it." -Random email

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism." -Random email

"He who hesitates is probably right." -Random email

"Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with." -Random email

"No one is listening until you make a mistake." -Random email

"Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view." -Random email

"The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it." -Random email

"The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread." -Random email

"The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach." -Random email

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research." -Random email

"To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles." -Random email

"Two wrongs are only the beginning." -Random email

"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive." -Random email

"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard." -Random email

"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life." -Random email

"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up." -Random email

"There is two things that tickle the fancy of our citizens, one is let him act on a committee, and the other is promise to let him walk in a parade. What America needs is to get more mileage out of our parades."  Will Rogers

"I still miss my ex. But my aim's improving." -Random bumper sticker spotted by my parents

"Consciousness- that confusing place between naps." -Random bumper sticker spotted by my parents

"Your failure to adequately plan ahead on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." -Random bumper sticker spotted by my parents

"Wife and Dog missing- Reward for Dog." -Random bumper sticker spotted by my parents

"Driver carries no money- He's married." -Random bumper sticker spotted by my parents

"They can send me to college, but they can't make me learn." -Random bumper sticker spotted by my parents

"He who dies with the most toys wins still dies." -Random bumper sticker spotted by my parents

"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas." -Random mug in store

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the lousy other two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them." -Lily Tomlin

"Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'." -Michael McClary

"An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations." -Charles de Montesquieu

"I am free from all prejudice. I hate everyone equally." -W. C. Fields

"The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it." -Doug Larson

"No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather." -Michael Pritchard

"If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect." -Ted Turner

"Beyond this place there be dragons." -'Words of Wisdom' door plaque

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office." -Robert Frost

"You never see a fish on the wall with it's mouth shut." -'Words of Wisdom' door plaque

"You can fool some of the people all of the time. And you can fool all of the people some of the time. But you can't fool Mom." -'Words of Wisdom' door plaque
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
Stupid Funny Quotes
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