Funny Insulting Quotes

Source(google.com.pk)
Funny Insulting Quotes Biography
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
Do I look like a people person to you?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
Can I swap this job for what's behind door..........1?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Aren't you a black hole of need.
I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
If you have something to say raise your hand... then place it over your mouth.
I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.
Have a nice day, somewhere else.
You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards.
Do you take Karate? I was wondering because you are kicking.
Is that your head or did your neck vomit?
You're so nasty, I called you on the phone and got an ear infection.
People like you don't grow on trees, they swing from them.
I could say nice things about you, but I would rather tell the truth.
I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.
I know I'm talking like an idiot. I have to, other wise you wouldn't understand me.
Most of us live and learn, you just live.
I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I can't seem to remember you name, and please don't remind me!
I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in ten years, I'll make sure I'm not there.
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
You remind me of the ocean - you make me sick.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.
You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.
You started at the bottom - and it's been downhill ever since.
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are
obnoxious and arrogant.
don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet its hard to pronounce
I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth
I’m trying to imagine you with a personality
Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
You have a nasty speech impediment....your foot.
You really are as pretty as a picture. I know I'd love to hang you.
This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
People would follow him anywhere.....but only out of morbid curiosity.
Words fail me.
If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder - it would be an apocalypse!

You're so fake, Barbie is jealous.

The **** you hear about me might be true, then again, it could be as fake as the ***** who told you.

Don't hate me because i'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.

You may start the ****, but you sure aren't the ****.

Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.

Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'

Funny Insulting Quotes