Online Quotes Gallery: Funny Friend Quotes

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Funny Friend Quotes Biography
Want to experience the humor in friendship? Read the witty lines below. These funny friendship quotes made me think about friends in an all new light.
Benjamin Franklin
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

Euripides
I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.

Harry S. Truman

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

Clifton Fadiman

One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.

Alice Duer Miller

When a woman like that whom I've seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man.

Jimmy Durante

Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're going to meet them all coming down.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.

Laurence J. Peter

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Ann Richards

I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

Friends are people in our lives that never falter, leave us, or give up on us. Their mere presence in our lives can give us the much-needed boost, strength, and self-esteem to keep going. Without them, perhaps our lives will be pretty dull, boring, and uninteresting. While all this may seem true at first glance, all of us know that every friendship comes with its own set of mishaps, misunderstandings, and sometimes unbelievable occurrences. Here's a bunch of quotes that anyone who has ever been and had a friend can totally relate to.

A true friend stabs you in the front. ~ Oscar Wilde

A friend to all is a friend to none. ~ Aristotle

Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. ~ Jane Austen

Friends are relatives you make for yourself. ~ Eustache Deschamps

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. ~ Thomas Jones

The best time to make friends is before you need them. ~ Ether Barrymore

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. ~ Samuel Butler

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them. ~ Edwin Arlington Robinson

We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends. ~ P.D. James

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. ~ Fr. Jerome Cummings

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes. ~ Anonymous

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police. ~ Anonymous

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces. ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~ George Carlin

Friendship. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul. ~ Ambrose Bierce

An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body. ~ Jim Hayes

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. ~ Bernard Meltzer

Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods. ~ Esther M. Clark

Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice. ~ Anonymous

I got a lot of best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know! ~ Archie Bunker

It takes a long time to grow an old friend. ~ John Leonard

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. ~ Sicilian proverb

Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families. ~ Anonymous

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected. ~ Charles Lamb

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one. ~ C.S. Lewis

Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces. ~ Austin O'Malley

Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really friends. ~ Truman Capote

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! ~ Doug Larson

So... what are you waiting for? Call your best friend(s) and tell them how much they mean to you. 3 Cheers to an everlasting friendship!

Funny Friend Quotes